Thursday, October 20, 2011

Being Mommy is HARD!

Like those days where I have to take my kids for shots.  I HATE that.  Even though I  know it’s for the best and will keep them safe from nasty sicknesses.  I still feel so terrible knowing that I’m taking these sweet little innocent faces that are so trusting of me to the doctor knowing full well that they are going to get stuck.  The looks in their eyes when it happens seriously breaks my heart.
I feel kinda bad when I say no to cookies and ice cream for breakfast (or dinner, or lunch) when W asks in his polite voice and tells me I’m a gorgeous pretty flower (yes, he tells me that! Hubs taught him, is that super cute or what?!).  But I know if I give in just ONE time, it’s all over and he’ll want cookies and ice cream for every meal!  With both boys, I am trying to get them to eat real, healthy food at mealtimes rather than snack their appetites away like they’d prefer.  Just as W is starting to maybe branch out a little, Bear is getting to be pickier…sigh.  It’s just a phase…I know it now!

This one is a toughie – not giving in to a tantrum.  Some days, when I’m especially tired, or preoccupied, or needing to get something done, it’s so hard to stop and make sure I don’t let the tantrum win.  I mean, I WANT to give my boys everything, but we can’t let them think whining or throwing a fit means they get their way. That wouldn’t be doing them any favors at all, would it??  Giving W a timeout and having him sniffle at me: “Mommy, you’re being so MEAN” is a tough blow some days! 

Crying it out nearly brought me to my knees.  More so for Bear than W.  I think the approach worked better overall for W.  Bear didn’t start sleeping through the night till 9 months.  And then I had to let him cry in the wee hours of the morning since I knew if I went in there, he just wanted me to hold him.  He’d nurse for about a minute, then fall right back asleep, but of course would wake up and cry when I tried to put him down.  Although I think he’s better about putting himself to sleep, even if he does cry for 30 seconds or so before snuggling in. 

Working. The biggie.  I am very, very blessed to work from home full time.  I like my job and my coworkers very much. I am thankful to have this identity as a professional woman in addition to being MOMMY.  I love that I can see my boys anytime during the day and can take W to and from preschool.  But it’s hard, too, since I would really like to be able to do playgroups with my mommy friends, take the boys fun places during the day, go to the beach or on picnics.  I think this is on my mind a bit more right now since Bear is especially clingy and affectionate with me lately.  He misses me even when I’m just down the hall and literally runs to me when I come out of my office.  But I just remind myself that I have a fantastic working situation, but that being a mommy to these 2 little angels and wife to my dear hubby is the most important job in the world.  So every time I think (fret) about it, I recommit to being the best wife and mommy I can be and making sure they know how important they are to me every single day.

So, that said, I’m going to kiss my boys (all 3 of them!) and say a prayer of thanks for how blessed I am!  Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll share your own thoughts and feelings in the comments below, too!

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